Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
