why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
