i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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