I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize