my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
