You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
