where does the pee come out of this thing
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize