I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
