I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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