I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
