i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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