hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
