that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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