I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
