So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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