I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His nipple licking is glorious
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