yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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