i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
