He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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