best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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