last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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