WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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