Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
