Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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