Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
40s are totally the cure
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
