I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
