Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have already put on my inside pants.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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