It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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