Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
