I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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