It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
