And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
