She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
