dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
