I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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