dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize