Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
