toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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