At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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