we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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