he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
