You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Small penises have feelings too.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
