mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
