I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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