I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
