i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
