At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
