Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
