She went from zero to smokin in five shots
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize