I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
