woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
