Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
