Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
