I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
