Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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