Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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