Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
