I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
