remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
please come you make the beer taste better
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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