remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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