I hate all girls vehemently.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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